FETISHWEEK – Safe Words in BDSM

January 16-31, 2012

The Feature Story this week is from Kitty Stryker about sexual abuse in the BDSM community.  I’d suggest that everyone who is involved in the community take a moment to read the article (and the meaty comments section following the article) because it has caused a great deal of controversy.  Anytime there’s that much attention on an article it must have touched a nerve and I think it’s a good idea to know where you stand on these matters.

Personally speaking, I can tell you that when I play with a submissive for the first time I stress how important it is that she uses a safe word if there is a problem, either mentally or physically.  I also tell her that I won’t be upset if she uses a safe word and that this is a fundamental part of the communication inherent in a BDSM relationship.  I’m typically the more experienced partner when I play, so it’s on me to educate my partner on safety and her role in expressing what works for her and what doesn’t.  It’s also incumbent upon the dominant to keep a cool head and react like an adult when a safe word is used.

What do you think about the article below, or the issue of Safe Words in BDSM?  Please leave me a comment below or contact me at: dirk@dirkhooper.com

[highlight]Feature Story[/highlight]

The bad kind of pain: Kitty Stryker talks sexual abuse in the BDSM community http://bit.ly/ApoSaZ

[highlight]News[/highlight]

Wicked Grounds Returns! – San Francisco Restaurants and Dining  http://bit.ly/Ae2edV 

Dita Von Teese’s Valentine’s lingerie launch – Fashionhttp://bit.ly/yjBYLN

Got a question for a prostitute? “Check out” a person at the library! http://bit.ly/zxqCHQ

Woman with two vaginas offered porn film http://bit.ly/xlHejo

CNBC Reports on .XXX Adoption – XBIZ Newswire http://bit.ly/wUDPZn

PinkLight Burlesque: Breast Cancer Survivors Strip Down and Celebrate http://ti.me/znVlFF

The Internet’s Newest Fetish – Doorknob licking | Punchbaby http://bit.ly/yj9IEX

[highlight]Articles[/highlight]

When Top Drop Rules Your Relationship http://bit.ly/zsHpNo

Gender and BDSM http://bit.ly/zcIoGn

Only The Beginning http://bit.ly/zNASEi 

Her Pet Speaks! http://bit.ly/xheDdP 

International Fetish Day – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia http://t.co/pa2s2hyC

Submitting Is Not Without Responsibility http://bit.ly/ytQY4k

Commitment BDSM style: My vanilla, polyamorous, collaring ceremony | Offbeat Bride http://bit.ly/wQiiOK 

Dumb Domme: Retrospective, Part 3: Playing Domme http://bit.ly/wxFgfl Good dissertation on reality vs fantasy BDSM.

And You Thought You Knew Kinky http://bit.ly/A47Abq 

Toy box inventory http://bit.ly/y8uskV 

Retrospective, Part 7: (As Promised) No Insight and No Conclusion http://bit.ly/yaenzR 

Table Manners http://bit.ly/w1Za6E

Kinky Ever After: Is kink a coat or a skin? http://bit.ly/ynQwet 

This Week In Sex: Mustang Ranch Will Be The Ritz-Carlton Of Brothels & How To Spot A Porn Star http://huff.to/xJJ1fm

Bondage Porn Special links: Anal Sex! http://bit.ly/w1ztAo

Have More Sex For Better Health & Fitness http://bit.ly/zriycU 

[highlight]Entertainment[/highlight]

Bedroom kink spurs Steven Tyler to propose http://bit.ly/xiiSBu 

[highlight]Art[/highlight]

Fetish Art: Megan K Eagles Photography | The Fetish Show http://bit.ly/wAz2m0 

Sex with Presidents http://bit.ly/wRbwAq 

Foot Fetish Sculptures by Gwen Murphy http://bit.ly/zUIQRA 

Dorian Cleavenger’s Erotic Fantasy http://bit.ly/xVaLoN 

[highlight]Advice[/highlight]

The cuckold conversation // Sasha | NOW Magazine http://bit.ly/w88Z6o 

[highlight]Reviews[/highlight]

Review by Dirk Hooper: Punish Petal leather collar and Power Flogger – The Fetish Show http://bit.ly/zMi3hd

Book Review: ‘Something Wicked This Way Comes’ anthology – http://bit.ly/w34mEj 

[highlight]Fiction[/highlight]

My muscles clenched from the intense orgasms http://bit.ly/y6AjSk 

 [highlight]Events[/highlight]

Mrs. Manita SM-Fetish Play Party (NL) http://bit.ly/zTLemj 

[highlight]Fashion[/highlight]

G-string Wedding Dress: Dare to Wear? http://bit.ly/AET9pO

The Nearly-Nude Dress http://bit.ly/xQz6oA

[highlight]Photos and Videos of the Week[/highlight]

Devils Playground Burlesque Slideshow http://bit.ly/yqWFSG

Matt Barnes Erotic Photography (NSFW) http://bit.ly/wxGuoN

The Frisky – 30 Sexual Fetishes Explained http://bit.ly/xFBdOr

[info_box]Dirk Hooper is a fine-art fetish photographer, host of The Fetish Show radio program, BDSM mentor, FETISHWEEK editor and personal brand czar.[/info_box]