Fetish, Kink, and BDSM in the News
Being Ignorant and Indignant about BDSM is not a Good Combination
Most of what I share on FETISHWEEK, and elsewhere, are positive stories, or full of information. But I’m going to break with that this week to point out that we, as members of the BDSM community, still have a long way to go.
This article at “Madame Noire” has so much ignorance and so much harmful misinformation that it needs to be called out.
The article is titled “If Your Partner Is Into These Fetishes, Be Concerned” and starts with this sort of language, “But sometimes you learn about certain fetishes and you just have to think, ‘Do those interested in this perhaps need, um, therapy?'”
Then, on to the subject of body suspension, “In this sexual play, hooks are inserted into your skin at strategic points and you’re suspended from the ceiling. I’m no psychiatrist, but I can’t help but wonder if one is into that, if murder and cannibalism aren’t far behind.”
Further, on the subject of having you berate him, “But, if a person is into this, is there not perhaps just some deep self-hatred going on? Plus, what if you say something to your partner during sex that is just a little too honest, and affects the rest of your relationship? I wonder if this ‘fetish’ is just a ruse to get one’s partner to expose secret thoughts.”
Look, I understand that fetish subjects are hot right now, and that they can get your website clicks. I also understand that some people who write articles like this are just trying to complete a weekly assignment or fulfill the whims of an editor.
But, if you’re going to talk about a subject, any subject, you should do rudimentary research about the subject and know what the fuck you’re talking about. This writer has absolutely no clue about what’s they are talking about, and more importantly, they don’t care. At all.
The result is a dangerous, biased, uninformed, dumpster fire of a piece that’s solely designed for click-bait. This was written for the purpose of making fun of people with fetishes and those who are in a kinky relationship in general.
It would be one thing if they were just talking about these activities, but the indignant advice and the mocking tone are insulting.
Shame on “Madame Noire” for publishing such dreck.
It’s up to all of us to challenge this sort of thing when we find it, or it will continue to propagate. Now is the time for BDSM articles from people who know what they are talking about, not people who are uninformed, biased, and looking for traffic.
What do you think? Tell me in the comments below.
Here’s the article, but I’m not linking to them because they don’t deserve my SEO juice: https://madamenoire.com/1085801/if-your-partner-is-into-these-fetishes-be-concerned/15/
7 Ways to Turn a Man Into Your Slave
Speaking about BDSM articles by people who know what they are talking about… here’s an article from Mistress Sidonia at the English Mansion.
This is one of the best brief overviews of how to train a man to be your slave that I’ve seen. I’ve read whole books that don’t approach this level of insight and accuracy.
I’d highly advise following Mistress Sidonia’s blog or, if you’re in the market, checking out The English Mansion for femdom content. I can personally attest to how good their videos are.
Follow Amazonian Asha on Instagram for More Like This!
Kink And Trust: How Some Trauma Survivors Find Healing Through BDSM
This is not a recent article but I ran into it while doing some research and it’s certainly as relevant now as it was then.
This article from Go Magazine discusses using BDSM to help people deal with trauma,
“The goal of trauma work is empowerment for the survivor. Psychologists use a specific three-step process to work through traumatic events with their clients. This three-step process closely mimics the three stages of a BDSM scene.”
The writer interviews several noteworthy and experienced people in the BDSM community and backs up her work with evidence. This is the perfect example of what a good article about BDSM should look like, and the subject is fascinating.
The Most Ridiculous Assumptions People Make About Being Kinky
I loved this frank and fascinating article from someone who is submissive and what people assume is going on in her life because she’s kinky.
If you’ve been in the BDSM community for any length of time, you’ll sympathize with the conversations she’s had with friends and family.
How to Create Connection in BDSM Scenes
Here’s a deep dive into an important subject that will pay off for anyone who wants to be closer to their kinky partner.
“Are you ready to play?”: After 5 years without sex, I took a BDSM class
According to Salon, “This is a funny and honest tale of one young woman’s journey to reclaim her sexuality on the fringes of New York City’s sex and dating world. Readers can see for themselves how this girl next door overcame insecurities around dating, sex, and love.”
What follows is a first-person narrative about a vanilla woman who is getting way outside of her comfort zone to attend a class on BDSM.
If you want a hint at how this writer’s first foray into femdom went here’s a quote from the article,
“I was enjoying it. A lot. My lip curled into a feral snarl. My eyes hardened. I felt powerful and sexy.”
Not only is this a great story for people who are curious, it’s a good reminder for how BDSM can be different things to different people.
Goddess Sativa on Twitter
Training subs is my specialty!?
— Goddess Sativa (@GoddessSativa) July 23, 2019
Beneath me and ready to serve!
Watch me train them!?https://t.co/cla0TAx4k8
Kinky clips!?
And my fan club?https://t.co/RovTumzP2p
Behind the scenes action & more!#femdom #clips #kinky #boots@DirkHooper @RTDoms@WorldwideFemDom pic.twitter.com/nxCGkyQxVD
Dirk Hooper Posts, Podcasts, and Appearances
Some Geeky Art
I’m right in the middle of a rennaisance in my artwork. I’m discovering things and refining my process at a breakneck pace.
Last week I was inspired to do a piece on Rutger Hauer after he passed. He was an important part of my favorite movie “Blade Runner” but he was also memorable in other films like “Ladyhawk” and “The Hitcher.”
I was sad to see him go, so I created this piece.
My continuing obsession with long ink strokes and complex shadows led me to do this piece on Kylo Ren.
I’ll be doing a break-down on that piece and explaining how I did it right here on this site in the next couple of days.
If you’re interested in commissioning some work from me, please visit my Commissioned Artwork Page. Help an artist out, get some great promotion, and make someone you love (or yourself) very happy.
Shoots with Mistress Lauren
Earlier this year I had a visit in Oklahoma City from Netherlands dominatrix Mistress Lauren.
To make a long story short, she’s simply amazing!
I’ve been sharing full sets of photos of her on this site and you can check out one of the sets here: https://www.dirkhooper.com/the-womb-photoset-with-dominatrix-mistress-lauren/
Feature Gallery: Miss Lila Sage
Over at my website DommeLinx I’ve posted a set of photos from Los Angeles professional dominatrix Miss Lila Sage.
She’s accomplished, experienced, and absolutely stunning. You should visit the link below to learn more about her and see her Feature Gallery.
If you’re a lifestyle or professional dominatrix I’m offering several ways to get some free publicity, and I back up those posts across my social media network.
Ask Dirk!
I’m launching a new column right here on this site. It’s called “Ask Dirk!” and it’s just like “Dear Abby” for people who are kinky, into fetishes, or involved with the BDSM community.
Send me your BDSM relationship questions now to dirk@dirkhooper.com!
Kink, Fetish, and BDSM Relationship Help Is On the Way!
New! This week’s FETISHWEEK!
“Being Ignorant and Indignant about BDSM is not a Good Combination”
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“Being Ignorant and Indignant about BDSM is not a Good Combination”
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RT @DirkHooper: New! This week’s FETISHWEEK!
“Being Ignorant and Indignant about BDSM is not a Good Combination”
Featuring:
@englishmansi…